


it's a piece of cake... not really

by elle_you_oh



Series: tumblr prompts [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:51:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3625545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elle_you_oh/pseuds/elle_you_oh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Melinda tries baking something nice for Phil and the one time she succeeds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's a piece of cake... not really

**Author's Note:**

  * For [itsamagicalplace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsamagicalplace/gifts).



One.

It’s not surprising that their rooms at the academy aren’t equipped with fancy kitchens, and the only food they really have access to is whatever is served in the mess hall three times a day.

But that doesn’t stop Melinda from sneaking in to the kitchens and at least trying to replicate the recipe she phoned and asked Phil’s mother for. Oatmeal and White Chocolate Chip cookies.

Sounds simple enough.

Three hours and a mess of flour, eggs and sugar later, she has what resembles strange, slightly, maybe a little more than slightly, burnt lumps. With a frown, she boxes them up and is making her way back to her room to dispose of the evidence of her failed attempts when she bumps right into the one person that she least wants to.

“Melinda, are you alright?”

It’s the anniversary of his father’s death and he’s asking if she’s alright because that’s the kind of guy that Phil is. She just smiles and holds the bag of burnt baked “goods” behind her back, trying to find a way to escape this situation.

But they’re training to be spies here for heaven’s sake, and it’s no surprise to her when Phil realises something is up. Despite her best efforts, she finds herself playfully pinned against the wall within seconds, Phil holding her down with an arm while he inspects the plastic bag she’s being so secretive about.

In the blink of an eye, his arms are around her, and she relaxes into his embrace, smiling as he thanks her over and over. She tries in vain to stop him from eating the abomination of a cookie cinderblocks she’s made, but he does anyway with a smile. And though he spends two hours throwing up later, he doesn’t regret a thing.

* * *

 

Two.

Melinda spends her two week break back home in Philadelphia. Her mother is off on an op who knows where, and she has the entire house to herself, so she invites Phil over. They muck around and watch television and talk about the missions they might get sent on one day. They also spend a fair amount of time making out on the couch and engaging in “other activities” all around the house, after Melinda disables the security cameras her mother has hidden of course.

Phil stays nearly the entire duration of their vacation, and does nearly almost all the cooking and Melinda feels bad because he’s sort of her guest, and she tries to make it up in the form of raunchy morning wake up calls. He’s an amazing cook and she feels a little insecure about her skills in the kitchen, so she does what she always does when she’s having trouble with a particular skill.

She practices.

And poor Phil is her guinea pig.

She tries to be a little less ambitious this time, going for a simple vanilla cupcake recipe - but somehow, the batter is runnier than what she feels it should be, and when she bakes it, the outside burns to a crisp while the inside remains raw. They go straight into the trash before Phil can stop her.

The second batch looks much better, but she does a spit take after taking a bite. Phil eats an entire cupcake, and all seems well, until he makes a dash for the trash can and empties the contents of his stomach into it.

He acts all sweet about it, and in an effort to prevent her boyfriend from landing in hospital in need of a stomach pump, she puts off the baking for now. 

* * *

 

Three.

To her credit, Melinda tries really hard this time. She spends down time between missions at cooking classes, but her instructors do not sing praises of her skills and natural talents like the ones back at the academy did. They’re rather worried she’ll burn down the building.

She and Phil have broken up, sort of.

They’re assigned to different bases, and neither of them really want to do the long distance thing; but that doesn’t stop them from being best friends.

His birthday is coming up and she’s determined to make him an edible cake this time around. She does all the necessary preparations, taking specialized cake decorating courses and practices until the people at the local shopping market recognise her as the girl that keeps coming in to buy eggs, flour,sugar, milk and chocolate.

But despite her numerous attempts at perfecting the standard chocolate cake recipe and trying the simple decorating techniques, it’s just not working out for her.

“Just gently flick your wrist”, the chef tells her, and she grumbles over why the icing on her cake looks like a turd when piping frosting uses almost exactly the same motion she makes when she’s sparring.

So when she meets up with Phil for drinks on his big day, she presents him with a sad looking turd covered and most likely inedible chocolate (and eggshell, and maybe paper wrapping from the butter) cake.

She lets him blow out the candles and just smiles when he presses a sloppy kiss to her cheek after he does the first cut. It doesn’t taste as awful as it looks, and she thinks that she’s finally succeeded, until Phil is bed ridden for the next few days with an awful case of food poisoning.

Maybe baking really just isn’t her thing.

* * *

 

Four.

Melinda isn’t a fan of undercover operations; why masquerade as someone else when you can just storm in with a gun in each hand and fix the problem?

And she most definitely would have turned down a month long mission involving the surveillance of a group of scientists who may or may not be working for some very bad people; especially when it meant going undercover in a suburban area, posing as a average, run of the mill, housewife.

But Phil was back in the country and they were to be partnered up together, so saying no hadn’t even been an option.

So now she’s stuck trying to make lemon bars for the weekly communal gathering - where the wives gossiped and shared secrets while the men talked about, well, hopefully their evil plans, because that’s what she and Phil are here for.

The women are all happy and bubbly and she wonders if their faces hurt from how much they’re smiling, because hers does. Melinda isn’t an outwardly smiley person, nor is Phil an overbearingly commanding guy, but Margaret and Steven Benton most definitely fit right in to a neighbourhood like this.

Phil is sweet and offers to help her in the kitchen; but just like her other fears in life, she will conquer this one. She swears the oven has a personal vendetta against her, and it takes her three tries to get something that looks even remotely like the image in the cookbook.

She tries one square and decides that it’s just as disgusting as she anticipated, but Phil eats two with a wide smile. His smile isn’t quite so wide when “Steven” lands in hospital, but it’s the visits from their suspicious neighbours that help them finish their mission.

There is an upside to everything.

* * *

 

Five.

She and Phil are on and off for several years, until she meets Andrew, a psychologist working for Shield. He asks her out on a date, and she realises that he’s exactly what she needs in her life.

He doesn’t seem affected by the nature of her relationship with Phil, who in turn, is thrilled that she’s found someone who makes her happy. She never bakes for Andrew though, not even after they elope and get married; there are some things  that she considers sacred to her friendship with Phil.

Bahrain comes and goes, as do divorce papers signed willingly by both parties. 

She transfers to administration and finds that she has more time on her hands than ever. So while Phil’s off flying around the world and saving it, she’s doing paperwork and still on a quest to bake him something that won’t make him sick. 

She checks the active missions to secure a date for his return, and prepares a plain old pound cake because really, no one can screw those up right? They’re the easiest thing you could possibly bake. It’s a little misshapen and flawed, just like she is, but she’s proud of her efforts. She cuts out a slice for him, and tries one herself, and after several hours with no side effects, she brings it to work and places it to her right while she files things.

Sure enough, Phil pops up by her cubicle later on in the way, and laughs to see the present awaiting him. She crosses her fingers in her lap and avoids watching him as he tries some.

He’s out of commission for a week afterwards, for reasons that are classified, and he complains that it’s not fair she has a stomach made of iron and he doesn’t.

* * *

 

\+ One

She mourned when he died in the battle of New York, and then rejoiced when he was returned to her and they were united once more. He’s the director now, the bad guys have failed and they run their own base, and they’re together again, “together, together.”

She’s been working herself to the ground lately, so Phil arranges for other members of their team to take over his and her’s workloads for the day while he surprises her with her favourite dessert, Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting.

She’s in his office while he bustles around in the kitchen, a smirk on her face as she slides a little white stick back into it’s box, tossing it into the trash. Despite how nauseous and hot and uncomfortable she is feeling, a giant grin breaks out as she hurries to find Phil to tell him the news.

He’s bouncing in excitement when she enters the kitchen and he displays his creations, but his heart nearly escapes it’s confines within his chest when she takes one whiff of the desserts and runs for the nearest trash can, coughing and spluttering and retching into it. He’s at her side in an instant, holding back her hair and rubbing soothing circles against her spine.

What surprises him more than the fact that Melinda just threw up, something he’s never known her to do even after a wild night out, is the unwavering smile on her face as she stands up and wipes her mouth off with a tissue.

He’s concerned beyond belief, but his fears are quickly stemmed when she places both of his hands against the slight round of her abdomen and whispers that this is one baking related project she’s succeeded in.

He kisses her, because he couldn’t agree more.


End file.
